Saturday, July 18, 2015

Mommyhood- One heck of a ride

Motherhood is HARD.

I was reminded of that two days ago to the point that it made me doubt myself as a mommy.

Here's how it went down...

My day consisted of Sophia not only painting beautiful pictures, but the kitchen chair, table cloth, her hair, and big toe.  Although this really isn't a big deal, it was the fact that I asked her not to do it annnnnd she did anyway <-- questioning my parenting by 10:01 AM

#deepbreath

As her and B were painting, I was getting lunches ready to head to the park.  It took me almost two hours to make lunches, get them together, myself together and leave the house.  <- Thinking I'm not even capable of getting out of the house.  Ohh.. and Sophia peed in her brand new bathing suit before we left!!

#deepbreathagain

We got to the park and had a great time.  When it was time to go, both kids had mini-meltdowns because they didn't want to go.  I already knew this would happen so it didn't bother me. #strongmommymomenthere.  Thank goodness The Hubs met us there for lunch so he was able to handle Sophia while I tackled B #notliterally

Then it was off to Kohl's... It was also naptime.

I KNOW!!!  It wasn't the smartest idea buuuutt if your in the area, need bathing suits and actually have the 30% off coupon, it's worth a shot, right? #illthinkthatovernextime

Again, I was mentally preparing myself for Sophia to ask for a "Barbie"... She associates Kohl's with Barbie because I bought her one a while ago #girlknowsherstores

What was suppose to be a quick trip to the bathing suit section for both The Hubs and I turned into a trip around the store with Sophia pushing her own cart,  knocking into displays, throwing anything Frozen or blingy (she spotted a really cute LC necklace.. #accessoryloverlikehermama) into the cart...
The icing on the cake- Sophia screaming, throwing a tantrum when I told her she wasn't getting anything... Where was The Hubs?  Of course on the other side of the store, so all the stares from the older women were directed right at me. <- Am I doing the right thing by saying "no"?

Ohh.. and she peed herself AGAIN while in toy section.

#deepbreathagainandagain

During the ride home, I had about 100 things whirling through my head, "What did I do wrong? Why did those ladies need to give me "a look"?  Why can't she just pee on the toilet?  Did I brush my teeth today?"

I called my mama and in mid conversation, I just started balling, telling her I'm not a good parent... Bless my mama, she laughed and said, "Heather, you're one of the best parents I've ever seen and I'm not just saying that because you're my daughter."  #ilearnedfromyoumama

Then my dear friend Deb beeped in and after telling her about my day, I started balling, again!! #thankyouhormones.

She again reassured me that I wasn't a"bad parent" and said, "Heather, you mean you're a human... We've all been there.. Yea it's not fun but you should never doubt yourself as a parent."

She's right.

We are human, we can only handle so much before we break.  A good cry can make things better, don't be afraid, let those tears flow!   Or call another mama, she too is human and we 'get it'. #itsamamathing

It's not always fun.  Mommyhood can be like a rollercoaster.  We will have our unbelievably, breathtaking moments, and then the nauseating, I just want to get off this ride moments.   But, it too shall pass. #mymantra

Never doubt yourself as a mama.  Although it's much easier said than done, you should never be too hard on yourself or doubt your parenting abilities.  There's no written manual on how to be the perfect mom or how to raise the "always" obedient child #nonexistent. We just need to learn from our mistakes, start over each day and count our blessings. #deepbreathstoo

After sharing this roller coaster of a day via IG and FB, I had other mommies comment that they too feel my pain... "I've been having a lot of these days lately... "It's nice to know I'm not alone..."

I felt a sense of relief but also joy because I know I reassured those mamas that it's not them... It's just the roller coaster of mommyhood.


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